Save Your Marriage - For Wives
Posted: Friday, September 14, 2007
by Abraham Lee
It is often the wife in a marriage who is more eager to save it. This is because women have different value systems compared to men. The most important thing to a woman is her relationships. So wives, I commend you for being eager and desirous to save your marriage. As a man who has been married to my only wife for the last sixteen years, allow me to share some practical tips with you.
The first thing for you to do to save your marriage is to empathize with your husband. As a man, I know how men think, feel and react. The wise wife knows how to turn her man's peculiar traits to her advantage. For example, all men have big egos (exceptions are rare). The foolish wife either knowingly or unknowingly damages her husband's ego. But the wise wife knows how to enhance and boost her husband's ego (sincerely, of course). Never ever put down or belittle your husband especially in public. Do not gossip about him behind his back either. Empathize with him. Try to feel what he, as a man would feel. The more you violate this cardinal rule about preserving your husband's ego, the more you damage your relationship with him.
The second thing to do to save your marriage is to be realistic in your expectations of your husband. Maybe you still sometimes look at another married man and wish your husband would be more like him. Let me tell you, the grass is not always as green on the other side as you might think. Instead of wishing for what you do not have in your husband, try being grateful for what you do have in him. He may not be as rich, clever or charming as the next guy but he probably is better in many ways compared to others. That brings me to the following step to take.
Do not nag at your husband or be nit-picky over every little mistake that he makes. The worst thing you can do to your husband besides damage his ego is to nag at him. Men cannot stand being nagged. Nagging almost always leads to some form of argument, either a full-blown shouting match or a cold war. Instead of nagging, make sure you speak calmly and politely. I realize that in some marriages, it is the husband who nags the wife more than the other way around. Obviously the suggestion I give to a wife not to nag also applies to the husband. Wife, if you husband nags at you, it is alright to interject and assure him that you have understood his point. But do so calmly and properly so as not to antagonize him. When anger and antagonism arise, communication is disrupted. Try to maintain open channels of communication at all times.
Thus, the fourth thing to do to save your marriage is communicate correctly. If there are disagreements, talk it over. Do not sweep them under the carpet. But talk calmly without accusing, blaming or fault-finding. Communicating well also means bringing up contentious issues at the right time and place. You should never argue in public or say anything that may lead to that.
These are the fundamental steps to take for wives to save their marriages.
Thank you and God bless you!
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)my husband always nags me.If any dispute arises between us.He tell all to his parents who again scold me .I really hate this .I really hate this habit of husband
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